Tabias has been vosting me a lot these days. Or at least, coming to the library. I like to preend it’s the former, but today je seems all business.
“Teara, where can I find the books on…” he lowers his eyes and voice, “magic?”
I start. “What use are they to you?”
“You are here to serve, not to question,” he snaps, but I know he is not actually angry. He won’t meet my eyes. Very well, then.
“Those kind of books will be near the back corner on the low, red wooden shelves. They should be quite old, and incredibly dusty. They shouldn’t be hard to miss.” He nods, his head low, and his eyes dart over me once before he disappears between the shelves. I swallow and press the tip of my quill into my finger, just enough to hurt and get my mind off of Tabias. I pull out another blank sheet and draw up another image of the holy icon, Rafflour and his white wolf, Alskion. The ink make ssmooth lines, tracing the outrsaide of Rafflour’s beard and sketching in Alskion’s flyaway fur. I am so absorbed in my work that I don’t realize Tabias is gone until thelibrary door thumps shut. I am tempted to check which books he has taken, but I don’t think my legsa would make it that far. This library is quite large. I concentrate on giving the two the lookas if Rafflour’s furs melt into Alskion’s fur, but the ink is starting t dry up. I go to dip it again in the well but, before I can, someone thumps a heavy pile of books onto my desk, shaking it.
“Hey, wench. Put these back.” I peer behind thestack and up into the hard face of Ryvoler. His Kindred Myor is by his side, baring his teeth at me.
“As you wish,” I reply, keeping kmy voicd calm. I heave myself up, leaning heavily on y cane. Ryvoler watches in sick amusement as I struggle to make it round the desk.
“On second thought, I’ll be nice and let you keep your dignity. Or, what you have left of it, anyway.” Ryvoler snathes the pile as if the books are merely feathers and disappeares amongst the racks. I stand for a moment, but my knees feel about to give way and I quickly sink ack into m chair. I need to exercise more, or else I may lose permanent use of my legs.
That thought makes me want to get up and check which boosk Tabias took, but Ryvoler is still back there. I resolev to wait until he leaves. The door opens again, and I see Tabias’ sister, Maylitha, ewnter and come running up to me.
“Teara! Teara! Gues what?”
“What?” I reply, my spirits immediately lifted by seeing her. May may be only 12, but I have a feeling she’s on my side with Tabias.
“It’s Rici’s thirteenth birthday today, so she’ll be getting her kindred tonight!”
“Really?” I reply. Nobody told me. “Can I hang with you guys then?” The hard faces of my parents looms in my memory, but I shake it away. May’s enthusiasm is infectious.
“Of vcourse! Tabias would love to have you,” May replies slyly, and I grin. I’m thankful for her youthful joy, even if it may change onc she gets her Kindred. I know mine and Tabias’ did.
“Say, May,” I call as she turns away. “Do you know if Tabias is…UP to anything?” May looks at me strangely, and the breaks out into a huge grin.
“Isn’t he always?” she quips before disappearing out the door before I can say a word. I sigh and lean back in my chair. Someytimes, I wish being just a scribe wasn’t so ruddy boring. I wish I could jump like May, sprint like Tabias, hunt like the Kindreds…
I rub my hand over my leg and don;tfeel a thing.
If only.
I stumble ungracefully throghthe crowd, doing ym bets nt to fall. I hold my cane close, which doesn’t really help the situation. If I didn’t have my braces, my knees wouldn’t holds up ayt all. I see flaming ginger hair in the setting sun and hurry over toward it, which for me is like a normal walking pace for others. Tabias is the only Kindred I know with hair that color. It blazes so broightly tht it is painful to look at, yet too beautiful to look away. Tabias sees me and nudges May beside him. She comes running up to me, all smiles.
“Teara! You’re here! Come, we got a good spot this time!” I follow May as best I can as she tugs my arm, unti she guides me to a place right next to Tabias. He glance ssideways at me, ans then turnshis attention back to the arena. Putting my arm around May for comfort and stability, I look out and see Ricilynne standing in the midde of the arena. Shje si trembling slightly, her dark eyes wide, but she has nothing to fear.
Unless…
I shake myself, still lesaning on May. “Just think,” I say, leaning down, “nextyear, that will be you.” May gives a little squeal, and I smile sadly. I remember feeling this excitement. And I remember…
“Chanti lum sencor yo main, aret luv yar con yon sayn,” starts up thr chant, and I quickly join in. As much as it hurts, I will do my best yto be happy for Rici. She looks around in nervous delight, then remembers what she is supposed to do. The scattered whispers die down, until all you can ear is the chant. Rici closes her eyes, and her body relaxes. Everyone goes still, only thewir mouths moving. Everything seems to stop, even the wind dies and the trees silence their rustles. I watch, chating, feeling my chest squeeze tight at the familiarity. Suddenly, everyone goes quiet. One by one, we close our eyes. A wind picks up, but tids isn’t ordinary wind.
This is Kindred wind, called forth by the small girl in the center of the arena. I tryu to make myselkf relax, but the lump just keeps getting bigger.
Don’t make a scene, Teara, don’t make a scene…
Suddenly, there is a boom. We all open our eyes.
Rici is on the ground, a small puppyin her arms, licking her face with wilkd bandon, its tail flailing madly.
I don’t stay. My stloamch feels sick, ad I push May away as I stumble back through the crowd to my lodgings. Nobody wqill be in the lkibrary. Nobody wll miss me. I hurry through the crowd, pushing past people engaged in hearty convewrsation. Whe I pass, their talk turns immediatewlyt yto whispers. Som are not quiet at all.
“Hey, ythrre goes the wench! Too bad she didn’t get anything this year, either. Must be fun being all alone!” I push harder, tears stinging my eyes. I don’t want to go home. I want…
After wat seems like hours, and with my legs may as well be, I end up at the Wishing Tree. I duck under its long, dropping vines and sink bacxk against its trunk, placing my cane out of sight. Sometimes, I like to sit under it and pretend I’m normal. That I have full use of my facilities. That my cane doesn’t ecist. That I have a Partner.
I bow my head under the tree and press my hands into my eyes, but the tears come anyway. I curl up underneath the tree and wish. The tree has yet to answer my wish, but maybe, someday, if I just wish enough times…
I hear the crunching of leaves and the soft woof of Coden, Tabias’ Partner. I quickly wipe my eyes as Tabias himself ducks under the tree, taking up post on the other side of the truck. If the trunk weren;t there, we would be sitting ack to back.
“I understand how it must hurt,” he says after while. His tone is poensieve. “I remember…I didn’t even know that wass possible. But…I was so shocked-“
“As was everyone,” I snap, then immediately sink back into silence. I don’t want Tabias to think I’m taking my anger oiut on him.
“Yes, everyone was,” he chuckles sadly. “But…I was also worried. Concerned. For you.” I can hear th earnestness in his voice. “I had npo idea how to live without a Partner, but…I wanted to help you. And be there for you. I…” He breaks off, and I hear him sigh. “I’m still here for you, Teara. I don’t care that you don’t have a Partner. That doesn’t matter to me. But…I’ve been looking. And I can try to get you one.” At that, I jerk away from the tree as if I’ve been stung.
“You want to get me a whelp?” I grab my cane for comfort at his outrageous idea.
“No, no! That’s not hwat I meant at all!” he cries, lesaning out form his side of the tree. His freckled face is red, and I can’t help noticing how adorable it is. “What I MEAN,” he stresses, coming to sit so he’s facing me, the temdrils of the tree just brushing his back, “is that I’ve been looking in those old books for ways to induce Kinship.” I stare at him, his words not making snese.
“You…want…me to force a manifestation of a real partner?” It sounds crazy, but I must be so for believing him about it. To my shock, he nods.
“Those books are centuries old. The magic in them is so outdated and confusing that no one has used them in decades. In one, there is a spell. It’s kindof strange, and has weir dingredeunts, but it couod be the key to your manifesting.” I look him in the eyes. His face is set, his jaw clenched in anticipation, and his eyes are clear. If I want, he really mean to do it.
“Is it…safe? Will we get in trouble?” Tabias looks away.
“Like I said, the book is old, so its effects…may not be quite accurate. At least not compared wth the spells we have today. But no risk no reward, right?” He gives me a small, tentative smile. I sit and satre at his beautiful face, the round cheeks, button nose, sharp amber eyes…
“Givce me time to think about it,” I treply, looking away. “I’ll use my free time to see is any other books mention something of that sort. And whne you can, I’d like to take a look at that old magic book. I don’t want to go jumping inot something that could be potentially dangerous.” Tabias nods as if he’s thought all of this lareday. From how he’s been speaking, he probably has.
“Of course. I’ll come visit the library tomorrow and we can see what we can find.” With that, Tabias stands and gracefully exits under the drape of the tree. I watch the vines swing where he left until they stop mving. My heart feels warm, but my legs still feel numb.
I close my eyes and tell the tree my other wish. I’m not sutre if it hears.
The next day I am filled with nervous jitters. If I had full use of my l;egs right now, I’d surely be pacing between the shelves. For now, I spend my time writing. The library is slow today. Most are sleeping off their hangovewrs form the clelebration yesterday. I try to keep myself in a good mood by enjoying the silence, but I know any moment Tabias couls walk in and then everything would get soi much more complicated. I want him to come, and I don’t. I am writing a tale of a peasant and prince, a sappy love story that surely has been done countless times before. It doesn’t matter- I am not intending to publish it. It is merely for my own enjoyment. I shameless ly model the peasant after nyself, and the prince after tabias. I’m sure I would die if he ever saw it. I keeepmy secret writings in an old, hollowed out tome that sits on the desk behind me. It’s been forgotten by time, and everyone is so used to it being there that npo one has ever asked about it. To be safe, I put a lock around it, the key hanging around my neck under my tunic, but no one has ever questioned even that. It’s nice to have secrets. It makes me feel less inferior to know something no pone else does.
I am just finishing u[p the second installment of my peasant-prince tale when I hear the door swoosh open. I shove the paper under another ri nconspicious pile just as Tabias walks in, Coden bounding eagerly ahead of him. Coden runs right up to me and shoves his coldnose under my hand. I stroke his soft ears and my chets tightens woith longing. I look up and see Tabias has the tome.
“I looked more at it this morning, but I didn’t find anything unordinary. Of course, you’d probably be better at finding that dstuff than me,” he admits, and I feel a strange, small rush of pleasure at his words. He glances around hesitantly, bjut the library is completely empty.
“If you could put this sign on the door, we can use one of the study rooms,” I offer, handing him a sign that says, “Closed for now- Will be back soon!” He trake sit and grins before placing it so it’s covering the “Open” sign on the front door.
“Need some help?” he asks as I start to get up.
Feeling stubborn, I reply on the negative. Tabias watches me closely, although he tries to hideit. That jst make sme mre determined to hide as much of my weakness as I can. I follow him slowly toward the rear of the library. Coden disappears, probably headed for the reading area filled with cushions. I don’t stop him. They’re filled with hair already. Tabias holds th door open for me, and I stumble into one of the reading rooms. It is arge and cozy, with a desk, chairs, and also beanbags for those who like comfort. I pause, and take the other beanbag as Tabisa flops down onto one. He sets the tome on his lap, then scoots closer so I can see. He is really close, and I can smell his scent. It’s a mix of sweat, wood, and dog.
I like it.
Tabias flips to the age he’s marked and passes the book over to me. He suddenly gives a small cry and says, “I’ll be back in a second.” I start scanning the page, my stomach clenching at what we might do. Tabias was right. The ingredients ARE satrnage, but doable, at least. I see the calling for…a certain type of blood…and my face colors. And then…another certain fluid…and I can hardlu face Tabias once he renenters, holding a few more books from the red shelf.
“You’ve…seen the ingredients,” he sattes awkwardly, as if trying to make a joke and failing miserably. “I mean, we could…yeah, I’ll just stop there, but you get my drift.” Keeping my mind blank as possible, I nod. I read over the directions for casting the spell, mumbing the words under my breath. The vowels and consonants are arranged strangely, so some are hard to figure out the correct pronunciation, but I try a fe times until it seems right. Most Kindred don’t cast spells, so I’m not jused to reading books such as these. I flip through a few of the other spells, just to see, and recognize a few very outdated ones.
“Here’s one,” Tabias finally says, making me jump. “It’s modern, buta lot of it’s redacted, though.”
“So not just anyone can perform the spells,” I explain. “I bet there are copies without redaction ssomewhere in one of the storage rooms. Someone needs to read them. I can keep my eyes open.” Tabias nods.
“I’m not seeing any spells remotewly close to the one we found in that book, and it’s not redacted…so either the spell never worked, or no one ever used it.”
“Or they didn’t want anyone to use it,” I add, pursing my lips. I flip to th back of the old spellbook and check the year it was published. Over 70 years ago. “This book is really old. Do youthink it’s really safe to use it?”
Tabias bites his lip, but when he looks at me his eyes still have that same determined shine. “Ugarae is an old family friend. I haven’t talked to him much, but if you want I could ask him about the spell. I won’t be super obvious,” he adds hurredly. “I’ll just ask him abou thtr ebook, maybe let him look at some spells. It’s available for anyne in the library, so I doubt anyone will be concerned that I have it. How does that sound?” I nod, su[prised that Tabias is being spo helpful. I never thought he liked me that much. He was always acting distant when I would come and hang out with May, as if he didn’t want to be seen with someone like me. At the toime, I didn’t blame him. But now, he seemed to have changed, for soemreason or another. I wasn’t complaining.
“Tabias,” I blurt out as he stands. “Why are you helping me?” I froze- he looked as surprised as I felt at the question. It just slipped out. He pauses, looking away from me, before offering me a hand up. He hel don as he opened his mouth to speak.
“To be honest, I’ve always felt it was unfair how you were treated. Like not manifesting a partner was contagious. I was mad at the world for leaving you like that, so I withdrew a lot from everyone…but eventually they wore me down, and made me do my best to forget about you. I kept telling myslf you were just the partnerless cripple, trying to make myself believe. But now, I guess…I’ve rown up a little.” He gives me a sad smile. “Life isn’t fair, but we can only do our best woth the cards we’ve been dealt.” He droppes my hand and heads toward the door. “Besides,” he adds, pausing in the doorway, only his broad back facing me, “I used to have the biggest crush on you when I was little.” The door closes silently as Tabias strides away. I stand, speechless. I collapse onto the beanbag as my knees give out. I saty in tat room for I don’t know how long, my mind just blank. Until, of course, someone starts pounding on the door so hard it feels like the whole building is shaking. I ease myself quickly up and hobble out of the room, the spellbooks still strewn about. I close the door in hopws that no on ewould go in before I had to clean it. Whoever was at the door was pounding harder now it seems, and my heart starts to beat faster. I force myslewf to keep going. It would do me no good to show fear. The door glass is cloudy, so I can’t see who was pounding, but my heart sinks whe n I realized the most likely culprit.
“Open up, you miserable wench!” I smile ruefully when my suspicions are confirmed. I swing the door open as fast as I can, and Ryvoler’s fist just baey misses me. “Hey wench, soon doesn’t mean hours!” he smarls, Myor growling at me from his side. In his hands is the book he had borrowed yesterday.
“I can take tha-“ Ryvoler suddenly shoves me, and I fall against the wall. I watch in horro as Ryvoler lifts the book he was holding, but I onl have time to utter a squeak before it crashes into my head. I slam into the wall, crumpling ad juts barely holding on to consciousness. “Sic her, Myor!” Ryvoler commands, his voice fuzzy and distorted to my spinning head. I don’t even have toime to feel the pain of Myor’s teeth- my body collapses before it registers.
I slowly blink my eyes open, and see I am staring at a grayoish yellow ceiling.
Not mydark wood one. I immdeidately try to sit up, but my head feels like it’s splitting and I dro back onto the bed. I’m aware if a dull pain in my arm, and my head feels achy. I try turnong and see a doorway. I’m in someone’s house, but my mind is too fuzzy to recognize who’s, until May flounces in.
“She’s awake!” she just as well screams, anmd I wince. “Oops, sorry, Teara. She’s awake!” shje whispers again, and I hear the bunding of paws and heavy footsteps. Oh goodness…
“May, be quiet.” Tabias’ face is taught, dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept very well. “How are you feeling, Teara?” His eyes run down mt body, and his lips tighten into a staright line. Coden pads in and rests his nose on the bed. I reach out to stroke his head.
“My head hurts and my arm aches a little. What happened? Why am I at your house?” Tabias looks away. Just then, his mother, Terythia, enters.
“Teara, I see you’re awake. I’m so glad.” She adjusts the covers so they are covering me more fully and comfortably. “Tabias hardly slept at all last night; he kept coming to check on your every hour. Such a sweet boy!” Tabias blushes, grumbles something, and goes out of the room. Terythia gently shooes May out also and closes the door gently. Coden stays with me. “How much of last night do you remember?” Terythia gently prods.
“Not much,” I admit, wincing as my head pounds once more. Terythisa purses her lips.
“What sit hr last thing you remember?”
“Uh, I was with Tabias in the library, in one of the study rooms…and then he had to leave…” I scrunch up my forehead, trying to remember, but it hurts so much. “I think…someone came in. I don’t erember anything more than that.” Terythia’s eyes are bright and hard. She sees me looking and immedoiately gives me a forced smile.
“I’ll fill you in on the details later. Can you sit up?” I groan, but if I go slowly the apin in my head is bearable. Coiden whines softly. I grab his fur as I force myself to sit upright.
“Tabias! Is the tea done yet?” The door opens once again, and Tabias strides in, a steaming mug of tea in his hands. He won’t meet my eyes. “Thanks. Teara, drink this. It will help with your head.” I accept the mug and take a small sip. It is just then that I notice how dry my mloith has been. I sip quickly; the tea is not as hot as I thought it would be. Just then, Terythia’s Partner, Yorendo pads in, shoving Coxden out of the way. He plops next to Terythia and watches me with his old eyes gleaming, as if he is making sure I drink all the tea. Coden goes to Tabias, who absentrly ruffles his fur. Thew small room is getting crowded. I finish the last sip, and realize Terythia is right.
“My head is feeling better,” I say, and Terythia takes the cup from me.
“I’m sure you’re also hungry. It’s a few hours past noon. You’ve been asleep for night and half a day. Tabias, help her into the kitchen.” Terythoia leaves swiftly, leaving Tbais and me alone, with only Coden for company. My cane is in the corner, and Tabiss glance sat it. Without saying anything, he suddenly scoops me up from the bed, being careful around my injured arm. I see that it is banmadaged. His body is stiff as he abruptly vcarries me out of the room and into the main section of their house, then through that to the kitchen. Terythia peeks out of the corner of her eye at us, and I blush when I see her tiny smile. Tabias sets me down surprisingly gently on the chair and turns to stride off.
“Tabias, stay. You haven’t hardly eaten anything, ewither. She’s fine now, you see, so you can stop worrying and ignoring your appetite.” Tabias’ ears turn red at his mother’s playful chiding. Terythia make ssandwiches, and gives a pointed look at Tabias. Then, she leaves. I eat in silence as Tabias stares at hois food.
“If you want,” Terythia calls from somewhere else in the house, “you can tell her what happened now that she’s eaten!” Tabias glances in the direction of the voice before taking a deep breath and leaning back stiffly in his chair.
“Ryvoler attacked you.” His voice is slightly hoarse, and incredibly hard. His mouth is tight. “I think he hit your head with a book, and then…” Tabias’ fists are clenched so hard they’re white. “He had Myor attack you.” He spits out the words, his amber eyes blazing. Coden whines and tucks his tail. I stare at Tabias, processing his words. The memory starts bubbling up, and I remember the pain and fear I felt.
“How…how long until someone found me?” I ask quietly.
Tabias’ eyes soften the slightest as he finally meets mine. “It was almost immediately after. I saw Reyvoler as I was leaving, but I didn’t think much of it…then, a few minutes later, Coden started growling and took off back toward thew library. I followed him, and he maganed to fight off Myor. Reyvoler left quicklyand then I brought you home as fast as I could. You’re…pretty light,” he says, his face blushing again. I take another bite of sandwich to give myself some time to think.
“Thanks, Tabias,” I say, looking at him. He meets my eyes, and I smile. He does too, but then stuffs his face with a huge bite of sandwich. I chuckle.
“Teara!” I turn as May wraps her arms around my waist, squeezing tight. “I’m not hiurting you, am I?” she asks, her round eyes suddenly concerned.
“No, of course not,” I say, leanijng to hug her back. I feel Tabias’ eyes on me, but I close mine and lean into May’s soft hair. After a few moent sshe pulls away, looking at me hard.
“Reyvoler hurt you, didn’t he?” Her vloice is hard, much different than what I’m used to. I glance at Tabias, and he nods.
“…yes, he did.” May seems to wqilt at these words.
“I’m sorry I coulkdn;t help, Teara, but one day, when I have my Kindred, we cab live together, and together we can protect you! We’ll fight off Reyvoler and any otherbad guys who come your way, pow!” I smile at May, still childlike and innocent, and think wistfully of when I ws that age.
So young, and hopeful…
“Teara, I wrote you a story! You wanna hear it?”
“Sure,” I reply. May helps me from the table and out into the livingroom, where I sit on the floor. Coden comes and places his head inmy lap. For Tabias’ Kindred, he’s awfully fond of me.
“Alright,” May says with all seriousness, her face tight and pinted. “No talking, and make sure to tip the author when she’s done.”
Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was almost thirteen, and she was so excited to get her Kindred. Her heart had been feeling squeezy for ages, and she just wanted that day to come. Finally, it did. The girl was nervous, but she tried to have courage. She had envied everyone else’s Kindred for as long as she had been alive, so she was ectastic to finally get one of her own. All those turning thirteen gathered in the arena. It was dry and dusty, and the boy next to the girl smelled funny, but all she could think about was the fact that she was goinhg to be getting her own Kindred. The chiefs went down the line, and the girl waited nervously for her turn. For the first time, fear started to squiggle in her belly. She tried to ignore it, but as the line shrunk it got worse and worse, until she juts wanted to run away and hide out in her house for the rest of her life. Finally, the line got to her. Shaking with excitement, fear, and apprehension, the girl stood in the middle of the arena and closed her eyes. She heard the chanting of the chiefs, and then the crowd; she heard the rushingof blood in her ears, and the wind as it started to pick up. Sh felt the wind ripping at her clothes, and she felt the fear materializing, moving up into her throat. The gir.l squeezed her eyes as tight as she could, and tried to focus just on her breathing, biut the wind whipped it away. Suddenly, all was still. The girl froze, afraid to open her eyes. She heard the murmurs of the crowd, and then gasps and exclamations of shock. Sloely, she opened her eyes. There, in fornt of her, was her Kindred. But not just any. This Kindtred was twice the size of the others, and he had long fangs and an incredibly bushy tail. The girl and her Kindred’s eyes met, and he went up to her, nuzzling her with his nose. They lived for a long time happily ever after. The end.
“That was lovely, May. Did you write all of it?” May nodded, her eyes shining at the praise. “I’m sure you’ll end up with a wonderful Kindred,” I say, and Tabias stiffens beside me. Even Coden raises his head and gives a tiny whine.
“May, Teara needs some more rest now,” Tabias abruptly sates, standing and pulling me up with him. May looks a little surpsied, and I can’t say I’m not too. He leads me back to the room formly, but not roughly, leaving May staring after us n the floor. Coden sticks close to Tabias’ legs, licking his hand when he can.
“Hey! What’s worng?” Tabias is silent. His jaw is clenched. Suddenly, before I vcan react, he pushes me back into the bed, so he is holding me down. Hius face gets so close to mine that I feel his warm breath on my cheek.
“We WILL get you a Kindred, Teara. I’ll risk my life on it.” He pulls back just a bit, and I a able to meet his eyes. They are hard, determined.
“Tabias, don’t be ridiculous. Why would you risk YOUR life for me? Don’t throw it away so casua-“
“That’s not what I’m doinjg!” Tabias shouts, his face tense, worry lines parading across his forehead. “I’m serious, Teara. I’m gonna get you a Kindred.” I don’t know how it happens, but suddenly Tabias’ lips are on mine, soft and warm. After a moment, I press back, and Tabias curls his had around my back, pulling me in closer. I press my hands against his hard chest. I pull away only when I need air. “I will get you one, Teara. I wll.” He is silent. “They don’t desve you.” And thre he is striding out, away, Cpden trailing him. My mouth is still warm, and I still remember the sweet taste of his lips on mine. I realize that I ma not embarrassed. It felt so natural that there is nothing to be embarrassed abut.
“Teara, where can I find the books on…” he lowers his eyes and voice, “magic?”
I start. “What use are they to you?”
“You are here to serve, not to question,” he snaps, but I know he is not actually angry. He won’t meet my eyes. Very well, then.
“Those kind of books will be near the back corner on the low, red wooden shelves. They should be quite old, and incredibly dusty. They shouldn’t be hard to miss.” He nods, his head low, and his eyes dart over me once before he disappears between the shelves. I swallow and press the tip of my quill into my finger, just enough to hurt and get my mind off of Tabias. I pull out another blank sheet and draw up another image of the holy icon, Rafflour and his white wolf, Alskion. The ink make ssmooth lines, tracing the outrsaide of Rafflour’s beard and sketching in Alskion’s flyaway fur. I am so absorbed in my work that I don’t realize Tabias is gone until thelibrary door thumps shut. I am tempted to check which books he has taken, but I don’t think my legsa would make it that far. This library is quite large. I concentrate on giving the two the lookas if Rafflour’s furs melt into Alskion’s fur, but the ink is starting t dry up. I go to dip it again in the well but, before I can, someone thumps a heavy pile of books onto my desk, shaking it.
“Hey, wench. Put these back.” I peer behind thestack and up into the hard face of Ryvoler. His Kindred Myor is by his side, baring his teeth at me.
“As you wish,” I reply, keeping kmy voicd calm. I heave myself up, leaning heavily on y cane. Ryvoler watches in sick amusement as I struggle to make it round the desk.
“On second thought, I’ll be nice and let you keep your dignity. Or, what you have left of it, anyway.” Ryvoler snathes the pile as if the books are merely feathers and disappeares amongst the racks. I stand for a moment, but my knees feel about to give way and I quickly sink ack into m chair. I need to exercise more, or else I may lose permanent use of my legs.
That thought makes me want to get up and check which boosk Tabias took, but Ryvoler is still back there. I resolev to wait until he leaves. The door opens again, and I see Tabias’ sister, Maylitha, ewnter and come running up to me.
“Teara! Teara! Gues what?”
“What?” I reply, my spirits immediately lifted by seeing her. May may be only 12, but I have a feeling she’s on my side with Tabias.
“It’s Rici’s thirteenth birthday today, so she’ll be getting her kindred tonight!”
“Really?” I reply. Nobody told me. “Can I hang with you guys then?” The hard faces of my parents looms in my memory, but I shake it away. May’s enthusiasm is infectious.
“Of vcourse! Tabias would love to have you,” May replies slyly, and I grin. I’m thankful for her youthful joy, even if it may change onc she gets her Kindred. I know mine and Tabias’ did.
“Say, May,” I call as she turns away. “Do you know if Tabias is…UP to anything?” May looks at me strangely, and the breaks out into a huge grin.
“Isn’t he always?” she quips before disappearing out the door before I can say a word. I sigh and lean back in my chair. Someytimes, I wish being just a scribe wasn’t so ruddy boring. I wish I could jump like May, sprint like Tabias, hunt like the Kindreds…
I rub my hand over my leg and don;tfeel a thing.
If only.
I stumble ungracefully throghthe crowd, doing ym bets nt to fall. I hold my cane close, which doesn’t really help the situation. If I didn’t have my braces, my knees wouldn’t holds up ayt all. I see flaming ginger hair in the setting sun and hurry over toward it, which for me is like a normal walking pace for others. Tabias is the only Kindred I know with hair that color. It blazes so broightly tht it is painful to look at, yet too beautiful to look away. Tabias sees me and nudges May beside him. She comes running up to me, all smiles.
“Teara! You’re here! Come, we got a good spot this time!” I follow May as best I can as she tugs my arm, unti she guides me to a place right next to Tabias. He glance ssideways at me, ans then turnshis attention back to the arena. Putting my arm around May for comfort and stability, I look out and see Ricilynne standing in the midde of the arena. Shje si trembling slightly, her dark eyes wide, but she has nothing to fear.
Unless…
I shake myself, still lesaning on May. “Just think,” I say, leaning down, “nextyear, that will be you.” May gives a little squeal, and I smile sadly. I remember feeling this excitement. And I remember…
“Chanti lum sencor yo main, aret luv yar con yon sayn,” starts up thr chant, and I quickly join in. As much as it hurts, I will do my best yto be happy for Rici. She looks around in nervous delight, then remembers what she is supposed to do. The scattered whispers die down, until all you can ear is the chant. Rici closes her eyes, and her body relaxes. Everyone goes still, only thewir mouths moving. Everything seems to stop, even the wind dies and the trees silence their rustles. I watch, chating, feeling my chest squeeze tight at the familiarity. Suddenly, everyone goes quiet. One by one, we close our eyes. A wind picks up, but tids isn’t ordinary wind.
This is Kindred wind, called forth by the small girl in the center of the arena. I tryu to make myselkf relax, but the lump just keeps getting bigger.
Don’t make a scene, Teara, don’t make a scene…
Suddenly, there is a boom. We all open our eyes.
Rici is on the ground, a small puppyin her arms, licking her face with wilkd bandon, its tail flailing madly.
I don’t stay. My stloamch feels sick, ad I push May away as I stumble back through the crowd to my lodgings. Nobody wqill be in the lkibrary. Nobody wll miss me. I hurry through the crowd, pushing past people engaged in hearty convewrsation. Whe I pass, their talk turns immediatewlyt yto whispers. Som are not quiet at all.
“Hey, ythrre goes the wench! Too bad she didn’t get anything this year, either. Must be fun being all alone!” I push harder, tears stinging my eyes. I don’t want to go home. I want…
After wat seems like hours, and with my legs may as well be, I end up at the Wishing Tree. I duck under its long, dropping vines and sink bacxk against its trunk, placing my cane out of sight. Sometimes, I like to sit under it and pretend I’m normal. That I have full use of my facilities. That my cane doesn’t ecist. That I have a Partner.
I bow my head under the tree and press my hands into my eyes, but the tears come anyway. I curl up underneath the tree and wish. The tree has yet to answer my wish, but maybe, someday, if I just wish enough times…
I hear the crunching of leaves and the soft woof of Coden, Tabias’ Partner. I quickly wipe my eyes as Tabias himself ducks under the tree, taking up post on the other side of the truck. If the trunk weren;t there, we would be sitting ack to back.
“I understand how it must hurt,” he says after while. His tone is poensieve. “I remember…I didn’t even know that wass possible. But…I was so shocked-“
“As was everyone,” I snap, then immediately sink back into silence. I don’t want Tabias to think I’m taking my anger oiut on him.
“Yes, everyone was,” he chuckles sadly. “But…I was also worried. Concerned. For you.” I can hear th earnestness in his voice. “I had npo idea how to live without a Partner, but…I wanted to help you. And be there for you. I…” He breaks off, and I hear him sigh. “I’m still here for you, Teara. I don’t care that you don’t have a Partner. That doesn’t matter to me. But…I’ve been looking. And I can try to get you one.” At that, I jerk away from the tree as if I’ve been stung.
“You want to get me a whelp?” I grab my cane for comfort at his outrageous idea.
“No, no! That’s not hwat I meant at all!” he cries, lesaning out form his side of the tree. His freckled face is red, and I can’t help noticing how adorable it is. “What I MEAN,” he stresses, coming to sit so he’s facing me, the temdrils of the tree just brushing his back, “is that I’ve been looking in those old books for ways to induce Kinship.” I stare at him, his words not making snese.
“You…want…me to force a manifestation of a real partner?” It sounds crazy, but I must be so for believing him about it. To my shock, he nods.
“Those books are centuries old. The magic in them is so outdated and confusing that no one has used them in decades. In one, there is a spell. It’s kindof strange, and has weir dingredeunts, but it couod be the key to your manifesting.” I look him in the eyes. His face is set, his jaw clenched in anticipation, and his eyes are clear. If I want, he really mean to do it.
“Is it…safe? Will we get in trouble?” Tabias looks away.
“Like I said, the book is old, so its effects…may not be quite accurate. At least not compared wth the spells we have today. But no risk no reward, right?” He gives me a small, tentative smile. I sit and satre at his beautiful face, the round cheeks, button nose, sharp amber eyes…
“Givce me time to think about it,” I treply, looking away. “I’ll use my free time to see is any other books mention something of that sort. And whne you can, I’d like to take a look at that old magic book. I don’t want to go jumping inot something that could be potentially dangerous.” Tabias nods as if he’s thought all of this lareday. From how he’s been speaking, he probably has.
“Of course. I’ll come visit the library tomorrow and we can see what we can find.” With that, Tabias stands and gracefully exits under the drape of the tree. I watch the vines swing where he left until they stop mving. My heart feels warm, but my legs still feel numb.
I close my eyes and tell the tree my other wish. I’m not sutre if it hears.
The next day I am filled with nervous jitters. If I had full use of my l;egs right now, I’d surely be pacing between the shelves. For now, I spend my time writing. The library is slow today. Most are sleeping off their hangovewrs form the clelebration yesterday. I try to keep myself in a good mood by enjoying the silence, but I know any moment Tabias couls walk in and then everything would get soi much more complicated. I want him to come, and I don’t. I am writing a tale of a peasant and prince, a sappy love story that surely has been done countless times before. It doesn’t matter- I am not intending to publish it. It is merely for my own enjoyment. I shameless ly model the peasant after nyself, and the prince after tabias. I’m sure I would die if he ever saw it. I keeepmy secret writings in an old, hollowed out tome that sits on the desk behind me. It’s been forgotten by time, and everyone is so used to it being there that npo one has ever asked about it. To be safe, I put a lock around it, the key hanging around my neck under my tunic, but no one has ever questioned even that. It’s nice to have secrets. It makes me feel less inferior to know something no pone else does.
I am just finishing u[p the second installment of my peasant-prince tale when I hear the door swoosh open. I shove the paper under another ri nconspicious pile just as Tabias walks in, Coden bounding eagerly ahead of him. Coden runs right up to me and shoves his coldnose under my hand. I stroke his soft ears and my chets tightens woith longing. I look up and see Tabias has the tome.
“I looked more at it this morning, but I didn’t find anything unordinary. Of course, you’d probably be better at finding that dstuff than me,” he admits, and I feel a strange, small rush of pleasure at his words. He glances around hesitantly, bjut the library is completely empty.
“If you could put this sign on the door, we can use one of the study rooms,” I offer, handing him a sign that says, “Closed for now- Will be back soon!” He trake sit and grins before placing it so it’s covering the “Open” sign on the front door.
“Need some help?” he asks as I start to get up.
Feeling stubborn, I reply on the negative. Tabias watches me closely, although he tries to hideit. That jst make sme mre determined to hide as much of my weakness as I can. I follow him slowly toward the rear of the library. Coden disappears, probably headed for the reading area filled with cushions. I don’t stop him. They’re filled with hair already. Tabias holds th door open for me, and I stumble into one of the reading rooms. It is arge and cozy, with a desk, chairs, and also beanbags for those who like comfort. I pause, and take the other beanbag as Tabisa flops down onto one. He sets the tome on his lap, then scoots closer so I can see. He is really close, and I can smell his scent. It’s a mix of sweat, wood, and dog.
I like it.
Tabias flips to the age he’s marked and passes the book over to me. He suddenly gives a small cry and says, “I’ll be back in a second.” I start scanning the page, my stomach clenching at what we might do. Tabias was right. The ingredients ARE satrnage, but doable, at least. I see the calling for…a certain type of blood…and my face colors. And then…another certain fluid…and I can hardlu face Tabias once he renenters, holding a few more books from the red shelf.
“You’ve…seen the ingredients,” he sattes awkwardly, as if trying to make a joke and failing miserably. “I mean, we could…yeah, I’ll just stop there, but you get my drift.” Keeping my mind blank as possible, I nod. I read over the directions for casting the spell, mumbing the words under my breath. The vowels and consonants are arranged strangely, so some are hard to figure out the correct pronunciation, but I try a fe times until it seems right. Most Kindred don’t cast spells, so I’m not jused to reading books such as these. I flip through a few of the other spells, just to see, and recognize a few very outdated ones.
“Here’s one,” Tabias finally says, making me jump. “It’s modern, buta lot of it’s redacted, though.”
“So not just anyone can perform the spells,” I explain. “I bet there are copies without redaction ssomewhere in one of the storage rooms. Someone needs to read them. I can keep my eyes open.” Tabias nods.
“I’m not seeing any spells remotewly close to the one we found in that book, and it’s not redacted…so either the spell never worked, or no one ever used it.”
“Or they didn’t want anyone to use it,” I add, pursing my lips. I flip to th back of the old spellbook and check the year it was published. Over 70 years ago. “This book is really old. Do youthink it’s really safe to use it?”
Tabias bites his lip, but when he looks at me his eyes still have that same determined shine. “Ugarae is an old family friend. I haven’t talked to him much, but if you want I could ask him about the spell. I won’t be super obvious,” he adds hurredly. “I’ll just ask him abou thtr ebook, maybe let him look at some spells. It’s available for anyne in the library, so I doubt anyone will be concerned that I have it. How does that sound?” I nod, su[prised that Tabias is being spo helpful. I never thought he liked me that much. He was always acting distant when I would come and hang out with May, as if he didn’t want to be seen with someone like me. At the toime, I didn’t blame him. But now, he seemed to have changed, for soemreason or another. I wasn’t complaining.
“Tabias,” I blurt out as he stands. “Why are you helping me?” I froze- he looked as surprised as I felt at the question. It just slipped out. He pauses, looking away from me, before offering me a hand up. He hel don as he opened his mouth to speak.
“To be honest, I’ve always felt it was unfair how you were treated. Like not manifesting a partner was contagious. I was mad at the world for leaving you like that, so I withdrew a lot from everyone…but eventually they wore me down, and made me do my best to forget about you. I kept telling myslf you were just the partnerless cripple, trying to make myself believe. But now, I guess…I’ve rown up a little.” He gives me a sad smile. “Life isn’t fair, but we can only do our best woth the cards we’ve been dealt.” He droppes my hand and heads toward the door. “Besides,” he adds, pausing in the doorway, only his broad back facing me, “I used to have the biggest crush on you when I was little.” The door closes silently as Tabias strides away. I stand, speechless. I collapse onto the beanbag as my knees give out. I saty in tat room for I don’t know how long, my mind just blank. Until, of course, someone starts pounding on the door so hard it feels like the whole building is shaking. I ease myself quickly up and hobble out of the room, the spellbooks still strewn about. I close the door in hopws that no on ewould go in before I had to clean it. Whoever was at the door was pounding harder now it seems, and my heart starts to beat faster. I force myslewf to keep going. It would do me no good to show fear. The door glass is cloudy, so I can’t see who was pounding, but my heart sinks whe n I realized the most likely culprit.
“Open up, you miserable wench!” I smile ruefully when my suspicions are confirmed. I swing the door open as fast as I can, and Ryvoler’s fist just baey misses me. “Hey wench, soon doesn’t mean hours!” he smarls, Myor growling at me from his side. In his hands is the book he had borrowed yesterday.
“I can take tha-“ Ryvoler suddenly shoves me, and I fall against the wall. I watch in horro as Ryvoler lifts the book he was holding, but I onl have time to utter a squeak before it crashes into my head. I slam into the wall, crumpling ad juts barely holding on to consciousness. “Sic her, Myor!” Ryvoler commands, his voice fuzzy and distorted to my spinning head. I don’t even have toime to feel the pain of Myor’s teeth- my body collapses before it registers.
I slowly blink my eyes open, and see I am staring at a grayoish yellow ceiling.
Not mydark wood one. I immdeidately try to sit up, but my head feels like it’s splitting and I dro back onto the bed. I’m aware if a dull pain in my arm, and my head feels achy. I try turnong and see a doorway. I’m in someone’s house, but my mind is too fuzzy to recognize who’s, until May flounces in.
“She’s awake!” she just as well screams, anmd I wince. “Oops, sorry, Teara. She’s awake!” shje whispers again, and I hear the bunding of paws and heavy footsteps. Oh goodness…
“May, be quiet.” Tabias’ face is taught, dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept very well. “How are you feeling, Teara?” His eyes run down mt body, and his lips tighten into a staright line. Coden pads in and rests his nose on the bed. I reach out to stroke his head.
“My head hurts and my arm aches a little. What happened? Why am I at your house?” Tabias looks away. Just then, his mother, Terythia, enters.
“Teara, I see you’re awake. I’m so glad.” She adjusts the covers so they are covering me more fully and comfortably. “Tabias hardly slept at all last night; he kept coming to check on your every hour. Such a sweet boy!” Tabias blushes, grumbles something, and goes out of the room. Terythia gently shooes May out also and closes the door gently. Coden stays with me. “How much of last night do you remember?” Terythia gently prods.
“Not much,” I admit, wincing as my head pounds once more. Terythisa purses her lips.
“What sit hr last thing you remember?”
“Uh, I was with Tabias in the library, in one of the study rooms…and then he had to leave…” I scrunch up my forehead, trying to remember, but it hurts so much. “I think…someone came in. I don’t erember anything more than that.” Terythia’s eyes are bright and hard. She sees me looking and immedoiately gives me a forced smile.
“I’ll fill you in on the details later. Can you sit up?” I groan, but if I go slowly the apin in my head is bearable. Coiden whines softly. I grab his fur as I force myself to sit upright.
“Tabias! Is the tea done yet?” The door opens once again, and Tabias strides in, a steaming mug of tea in his hands. He won’t meet my eyes. “Thanks. Teara, drink this. It will help with your head.” I accept the mug and take a small sip. It is just then that I notice how dry my mloith has been. I sip quickly; the tea is not as hot as I thought it would be. Just then, Terythia’s Partner, Yorendo pads in, shoving Coxden out of the way. He plops next to Terythia and watches me with his old eyes gleaming, as if he is making sure I drink all the tea. Coden goes to Tabias, who absentrly ruffles his fur. Thew small room is getting crowded. I finish the last sip, and realize Terythia is right.
“My head is feeling better,” I say, and Terythia takes the cup from me.
“I’m sure you’re also hungry. It’s a few hours past noon. You’ve been asleep for night and half a day. Tabias, help her into the kitchen.” Terythoia leaves swiftly, leaving Tbais and me alone, with only Coden for company. My cane is in the corner, and Tabiss glance sat it. Without saying anything, he suddenly scoops me up from the bed, being careful around my injured arm. I see that it is banmadaged. His body is stiff as he abruptly vcarries me out of the room and into the main section of their house, then through that to the kitchen. Terythia peeks out of the corner of her eye at us, and I blush when I see her tiny smile. Tabias sets me down surprisingly gently on the chair and turns to stride off.
“Tabias, stay. You haven’t hardly eaten anything, ewither. She’s fine now, you see, so you can stop worrying and ignoring your appetite.” Tabias’ ears turn red at his mother’s playful chiding. Terythia make ssandwiches, and gives a pointed look at Tabias. Then, she leaves. I eat in silence as Tabias stares at hois food.
“If you want,” Terythia calls from somewhere else in the house, “you can tell her what happened now that she’s eaten!” Tabias glances in the direction of the voice before taking a deep breath and leaning back stiffly in his chair.
“Ryvoler attacked you.” His voice is slightly hoarse, and incredibly hard. His mouth is tight. “I think he hit your head with a book, and then…” Tabias’ fists are clenched so hard they’re white. “He had Myor attack you.” He spits out the words, his amber eyes blazing. Coden whines and tucks his tail. I stare at Tabias, processing his words. The memory starts bubbling up, and I remember the pain and fear I felt.
“How…how long until someone found me?” I ask quietly.
Tabias’ eyes soften the slightest as he finally meets mine. “It was almost immediately after. I saw Reyvoler as I was leaving, but I didn’t think much of it…then, a few minutes later, Coden started growling and took off back toward thew library. I followed him, and he maganed to fight off Myor. Reyvoler left quicklyand then I brought you home as fast as I could. You’re…pretty light,” he says, his face blushing again. I take another bite of sandwich to give myself some time to think.
“Thanks, Tabias,” I say, looking at him. He meets my eyes, and I smile. He does too, but then stuffs his face with a huge bite of sandwich. I chuckle.
“Teara!” I turn as May wraps her arms around my waist, squeezing tight. “I’m not hiurting you, am I?” she asks, her round eyes suddenly concerned.
“No, of course not,” I say, leanijng to hug her back. I feel Tabias’ eyes on me, but I close mine and lean into May’s soft hair. After a few moent sshe pulls away, looking at me hard.
“Reyvoler hurt you, didn’t he?” Her vloice is hard, much different than what I’m used to. I glance at Tabias, and he nods.
“…yes, he did.” May seems to wqilt at these words.
“I’m sorry I coulkdn;t help, Teara, but one day, when I have my Kindred, we cab live together, and together we can protect you! We’ll fight off Reyvoler and any otherbad guys who come your way, pow!” I smile at May, still childlike and innocent, and think wistfully of when I ws that age.
So young, and hopeful…
“Teara, I wrote you a story! You wanna hear it?”
“Sure,” I reply. May helps me from the table and out into the livingroom, where I sit on the floor. Coden comes and places his head inmy lap. For Tabias’ Kindred, he’s awfully fond of me.
“Alright,” May says with all seriousness, her face tight and pinted. “No talking, and make sure to tip the author when she’s done.”
Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was almost thirteen, and she was so excited to get her Kindred. Her heart had been feeling squeezy for ages, and she just wanted that day to come. Finally, it did. The girl was nervous, but she tried to have courage. She had envied everyone else’s Kindred for as long as she had been alive, so she was ectastic to finally get one of her own. All those turning thirteen gathered in the arena. It was dry and dusty, and the boy next to the girl smelled funny, but all she could think about was the fact that she was goinhg to be getting her own Kindred. The chiefs went down the line, and the girl waited nervously for her turn. For the first time, fear started to squiggle in her belly. She tried to ignore it, but as the line shrunk it got worse and worse, until she juts wanted to run away and hide out in her house for the rest of her life. Finally, the line got to her. Shaking with excitement, fear, and apprehension, the girl stood in the middle of the arena and closed her eyes. She heard the chanting of the chiefs, and then the crowd; she heard the rushingof blood in her ears, and the wind as it started to pick up. Sh felt the wind ripping at her clothes, and she felt the fear materializing, moving up into her throat. The gir.l squeezed her eyes as tight as she could, and tried to focus just on her breathing, biut the wind whipped it away. Suddenly, all was still. The girl froze, afraid to open her eyes. She heard the murmurs of the crowd, and then gasps and exclamations of shock. Sloely, she opened her eyes. There, in fornt of her, was her Kindred. But not just any. This Kindtred was twice the size of the others, and he had long fangs and an incredibly bushy tail. The girl and her Kindred’s eyes met, and he went up to her, nuzzling her with his nose. They lived for a long time happily ever after. The end.
“That was lovely, May. Did you write all of it?” May nodded, her eyes shining at the praise. “I’m sure you’ll end up with a wonderful Kindred,” I say, and Tabias stiffens beside me. Even Coden raises his head and gives a tiny whine.
“May, Teara needs some more rest now,” Tabias abruptly sates, standing and pulling me up with him. May looks a little surpsied, and I can’t say I’m not too. He leads me back to the room formly, but not roughly, leaving May staring after us n the floor. Coden sticks close to Tabias’ legs, licking his hand when he can.
“Hey! What’s worng?” Tabias is silent. His jaw is clenched. Suddenly, before I vcan react, he pushes me back into the bed, so he is holding me down. Hius face gets so close to mine that I feel his warm breath on my cheek.
“We WILL get you a Kindred, Teara. I’ll risk my life on it.” He pulls back just a bit, and I a able to meet his eyes. They are hard, determined.
“Tabias, don’t be ridiculous. Why would you risk YOUR life for me? Don’t throw it away so casua-“
“That’s not what I’m doinjg!” Tabias shouts, his face tense, worry lines parading across his forehead. “I’m serious, Teara. I’m gonna get you a Kindred.” I don’t know how it happens, but suddenly Tabias’ lips are on mine, soft and warm. After a moment, I press back, and Tabias curls his had around my back, pulling me in closer. I press my hands against his hard chest. I pull away only when I need air. “I will get you one, Teara. I wll.” He is silent. “They don’t desve you.” And thre he is striding out, away, Cpden trailing him. My mouth is still warm, and I still remember the sweet taste of his lips on mine. I realize that I ma not embarrassed. It felt so natural that there is nothing to be embarrassed abut.