Let me say, it's been an eventful month. I got sick, hallucinated A LOT, and am now super confused as to what's rel or not. I feel like I've been in the hospital for a month. Tbh, I've pretty much been sick for a month. Please note that my hallucinations are at an all time high, so none of this may be true.
I've been in the hospital for a while, sick with hallucinations and other health issues. I've been away from my electronics for some time, so I apologize for the writing silence. Even now, tying is hard. But either way, I'm writing this for you guys to show I'm not dead (thank goodness). Some hallucinations (rather, many) were that I was in a hospital, and talking to the doctor. Many hallucinations had me getting things. I hallucinated multiple times that I had more rats, different ones, other rodents etc. Very confusing. Right now I only have one rat, Toast. Hopefully I'll get him a friend that actually exists soon. We've been preparing for something having to do with Mitzi recently, although I forget what. It involved getting another dog I believe (another hallucination), and I'm pretty sure we also went on some walks. I don't really know. I was in the hospital with heart problems after a family vacation, so a lot of this happened when I was in the hospital. Before that, we were on a family vacation. I got pretty badly hurt and ended up in the hospital. I'm okay now (as far as I know) but I had some issue sat the hospital. I recently got a new rat, Toast, because my old rats died. I need to get him a friend. Rats shouldn't live on their own. Everything was really confusing after it "happened", mainly because it DIDN'T. I'm almost positive ll f this was just a hallucination and didn't actually happen. My brain just orchestrated this entire thing while I was asleep, which worries me and makes me think that maybe something IS wrong with me. I'm not in school right now as I WAS sick, but now I din't even know. There's something wrong with me but I don't really know what. Just now I'm remembering my hydrocephalus because of the wrap on my neck, but I don't remember how I got it. My memory is pretty shot right now, and I cam't trust what my dreams tell me. I want to ask, and I really should, because I don't even know anything at this point. Dreams and reality have become blurred, indistinguishable...a hard way to live, really.
0 Comments
|
AuthorAn 18 year old writer, drawer, tea enthusiast, beanie baby collector, INFJ, Pleiadian starseed and high schooler, Amanda enjoys mammals, drawing, and reading. She wants to be an editor, comic artist, alien, and own lots of pets when she grows up. Archives
January 2020
Categories |