So. These past three days have not been pretty. I live on routine. And this is just really jarring and annoying to my brain. I'm tired of being stuck in the house, doing hardly anything, and feeling useless. I've played so much Sims, Wii, and Minecraft to last me an entire month. I'm tired of this. It's too cold to do anything, so you're stuck at home doing nothing and feeling worthless. Plus, there's no school the next day, so then your motivation to do anything completely dissipates. And the there's the stress from wondering how the teachers will be able to catch up on all of their lessons. I mean, we're getting almost an entire school week off here, people! That's longer than a lot of actual planned breaks we have... I wanna go back to school. So please, Minnesota, get warmer. Sincerely, Amanda
PS. I found a great song that describes my feelings towards a certain person in my family (except for the last part, where it gets kinda dark). It's called Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by Set It Off. It's really strange (reminds of some creepy carnival type movie theme) so listen at your own risk.
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Tell me, have you ever questioned anything? Like, why is the sky blue? Obviously, it's because the light refracts from the particles in the air and the only wavelength we end up seeing is blue. Or, say, why are McDonald's french fries soooo good? Honestly can't relate, but that's because companies have found the perfect blend of salt and fats to create diabetes-in-a-stick. Not me. I have more important things to worry about. For instance: why in freaking hell does society prevail, when all it does is ruin everything we supposedly care about? Tell me, what good has humanity done that makes us worth anything? Oh, I know! We destroyed the planet, started wars, wiped out entire species, killed each other, mowed down thousands of acres of forests, and for WHAT? So we can build hard, ugly concrete cities, and destroy habitats with roads because we're too lazy to even travel? So we can "replace" natural marvels with man made ones, and extinct species with GMOed ones? Tell me how this is better. Please. Because as of right now, I've lost all faith in society. Alone, against the worldI've always been different. Even when I was little, I never wanted to be human. I would act on my impulses so much that I was limited to 15 minutes of "horse time", or, whatever animal I happened to want to impersonate that day. As I grew, I began to long for worlds that were not here, places that didn't exist, societies that were so different from the one we have today it's amazing I could even fathom it. Once I grew out of the animal stage, I started writing. My mind concocted fantastical places and situations, where I was always the hero. I wanted to be more than what society would let me. Even at age 7, I could feel it. I was meant to be something that could never peacefully exist in such a poisoned world as today. I wrote fantasy because I could escape. I wrote it because I had control of that world, I created, I had the power. Power has always belonged to others. That' how our society works. There is always someone better, stronger faster, smarter, fitter, healthier, cuter. It never ends. I don't want a part of that. Most famous writers are famous because their writing has to do with some negative aspect of society. They attacked society where it was darkest, exposing it. Their works are famous. Then why are we still giving in to this shifting, poisoned, multifaceted beast? Because that's how I've come to see society. It is formless, a constantly shifting dark mass of beast, and it gets into people's heads. It poisons their minds, and when they try to fight, it fights back in the worst way possible. Society is so, so hard to escape. It uses those under its power to turn more into its minions, until it can have all the entirety of mankind under its power. And then, it will use them all as it wills. I'm not like these people. I've been fighting society for years. I don;t know why, if it's just my mindset, my upbringing, or even some divine gift that I can see society from the outside. I don;t know. But it sure makes life suck. You see everyone under the influence, each one gripped in society's iron fist, yet you are helpless. You can hardly keep yourself safe- how can you possibly hope to help anyone else? Society is crafty. It pressures and pressures, and too many fall for that trap. And for those who are stronger, like me, it whispers that maybe, just maybe, what if everything I am saying is wrong? What if its all just a product of my challenged mental state, an issue caused by only a simple fissure in the brain, and not by some divine gift from above? Society has been around long enough, and growing fast enough, to know how to hit you where you're weak. It knows how to make you think you're crazy and that maybe the things you see and think are just products of an overactive imagination, combined with depression and anxiety. Or, is it that this awareness CAUSES such ailments? I'm anxious because of society's pressures. Always have to be the best, have to be pretty, smart, funny, beautiful. You have to conform to society's standards. Amd if you don, well, society fights back. You hate yourself. You become isolated, and wonder what's wrong with you. Why doesn't anyone like me? Why am I all alone? Why isn't anybody else like me? It's like that because society wants it to be. You're rejecting society. Everyone else is controlled by society. So who does that leave you with? Their Scope Isn't Big EnoughTheir are so many things wrong with society these days that I'm sure you could count them multiple times over on your fingers, toes, and even hairs on you head. Yes, these problems exist, but we are not getting to the root of the problems. Our scope is too small. We need to address the deeper issue before we can fix the more specific issues, or else they'll just keep appearing, no matter how hard we try to get rid of them. These big issues I'm talking about are simple, yet infinitely complex. People like to ignore them in favor of easier, concrete problems that you can get immediate gratification from, at least in the scope of those problems versus these. What are these core, key problems? Here they are: Sexism |
March 8, 2017 | March 8, 2018 |
April 25, 2017 | April 25, 2018 |
July 21, 2017 | July 27, 2018 |
If that didn't make y'all cringe, I don't know what will.
Mara knew what her Shorra was. Yet that didn’t ease the swirmy feeling in her gut, or the way her lungs squeezed for breath. It felt good. The hallroom was bright with light from the tall, floor to ceiling windows. The velvet curtains were pulled back, and in her simple but elegant lilac dress, Mara shone with the yellow rays of the sun. The court was already assembled, seated on cushions lining the central walkway. Her parents were at the end of the line, facing her, their clothes a fancier version of their normal ware. Her mother caught her eye and smiled. Their tigers were sprawled beside them, and as she watched Kiro yawned, showing off his large, white teeth. Mara took a deep breath, turning her attention to the shaman, who was absently mixing herbs in a small golden pot he carried on his forearm. Using his ladle, he lifted it up and took a whiff. Mara relaxed when he nodded at her parents and the turned to her. Focusing on her feet, Mara stepped forward, carefully following the imaginary line in her head. She stopped halfway between her parents and the entrance to the hall, and the shaman stepped in front of her, briefly blocking her view of her parents. He lifted the golden pot up to her, and taking the ladle, Mara spooned a tiny bit and blew on it. Steeling herself, not leaving any time for doubt, Mara swallowed the drops of golden liquid.
Even though she had cooled it, the liquid burned like fire as it went down her throat. Mara wanted to retch, but forced herself to stay still. Immediately, a warm feeling like no other spread throughout her entire body, erasing any earlier feelings. She closed her eyes, and a faint outline appeared on her eyelids, growing stronger and clearer as the moments passed. Mara forced herself to stay still and expressionless as the creature appeared, even though her heart started beating faster. What had at first looked like her parent’s tigers now looked more like…
Mara gasped and her eyes flew open. Standing in front of her was a spectacularly glowing creature, its fur white as snow, its aura warming her. It would have been beautiful, but Mara was in too much horror to notice that.
It was a dire wolf, the complete opposite of her parent’s tigers, and the Shorra of their greatest enemies, the Tavennos.
Even though she had cooled it, the liquid burned like fire as it went down her throat. Mara wanted to retch, but forced herself to stay still. Immediately, a warm feeling like no other spread throughout her entire body, erasing any earlier feelings. She closed her eyes, and a faint outline appeared on her eyelids, growing stronger and clearer as the moments passed. Mara forced herself to stay still and expressionless as the creature appeared, even though her heart started beating faster. What had at first looked like her parent’s tigers now looked more like…
Mara gasped and her eyes flew open. Standing in front of her was a spectacularly glowing creature, its fur white as snow, its aura warming her. It would have been beautiful, but Mara was in too much horror to notice that.
It was a dire wolf, the complete opposite of her parent’s tigers, and the Shorra of their greatest enemies, the Tavennos.
Aaaand the winning poem is...#1!!!! Personally, I think that this best describes me and what I'm all about (writing) and I also just like the flow of it. Thanks to all of you who voted and read my poems, your support really means a lot! The poem with the most votes, however, was #6 Anatomy of a Thinker. IDK why you all chose it, 'cause I'm not super fond of it, but I'm glad you guys enjoy my writing. Now let's see if I win!
Writing
My fingers fly fast over keys
Tiny black ticks marring smooth white surface
Buzzing in my ears
Incessant hum of fish tank
Housing one lonely fish
My rabbit tosses her keys
I keep on writing
The page stretches endless before me
A blank canvas, waiting for me to fill
My words spill like water
On my worn black keyboard
My fingers cannot keep up
With the rapidity of my brain
They cramp and cry
I keep on writing
I have too much to say
Too much to do
I don’t have time to write, yet I do
My stomach growls
My bladder is full
But I am rooted to my chair
Just one word more
I say to myself
A word turns to a page
A page to ten
Until I am utterly exhausted
It will all be deleted
Revised
Edited
Cut
Rewrote
But I look at the page and see
Myself in the words
These are my thoughts
My feelings
My pain
My body, mind, and soul
Are made up of words
Too many to get out at once
Instead many small intervals
Blasting onto the screen
And done
Empty
The well of my mind, dry
But soon to fill with new ideas
Perpetuating the flow
The lifeblood of my soul
I keep on writing
Tiny black ticks marring smooth white surface
Buzzing in my ears
Incessant hum of fish tank
Housing one lonely fish
My rabbit tosses her keys
I keep on writing
The page stretches endless before me
A blank canvas, waiting for me to fill
My words spill like water
On my worn black keyboard
My fingers cannot keep up
With the rapidity of my brain
They cramp and cry
I keep on writing
I have too much to say
Too much to do
I don’t have time to write, yet I do
My stomach growls
My bladder is full
But I am rooted to my chair
Just one word more
I say to myself
A word turns to a page
A page to ten
Until I am utterly exhausted
It will all be deleted
Revised
Edited
Cut
Rewrote
But I look at the page and see
Myself in the words
These are my thoughts
My feelings
My pain
My body, mind, and soul
Are made up of words
Too many to get out at once
Instead many small intervals
Blasting onto the screen
And done
Empty
The well of my mind, dry
But soon to fill with new ideas
Perpetuating the flow
The lifeblood of my soul
I keep on writing
Author
An 18 year old writer, drawer, tea enthusiast, beanie baby collector, INFJ, Pleiadian starseed and high schooler, Amanda enjoys mammals, drawing, and reading. She wants to be an editor, comic artist, alien, and own lots of pets when she grows up.
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